An open letter to single men everywhere

May 27, 2009

Dear Every single man who has ever wondered what he needed to do to get a girl to fall madly in *L word with him,

There are three simple things you should do if you wish to woo a girl:

1. Be charming.

2. Tell the truth.

3. Get flowers for the girl.

It’s really that simple.


(p.s. Let’s not get crazy and assume the L word means LOVE. Sometimes it’ means LUST. Or LIKE. Or even LIKE aLot.)


11 Responses to “An open letter to single men everywhere”

  1. Gramps said

    You didn’t mention beer. Shouldn’t beer be at the top of that list?

  2. Caitlyn said

    I think for me the list would be:
    1. Puppies. Seriously is there anything better than seeing a cute guy walking a floppy puppy stumbling over leaves? I saw that today and nearly tripped over leaves too.

    2. Beer. Gramps, are you single?

    3. Ditto on telling the truth.

    4. If you can’t tell the truth, at least tell good stories when you lie.

  3. amen. and may i add ‘never stop’ if you want to keep her?

    • humanbeingblog said

      and “don’t just lay there when she’s on top” is on my list too. That’ll get you 86’d every single time.

  4. sid said

    I have to agree with Caitlyn on the puppies.

  5. Lily said

    I’d throw in a “make me laugh,” but otherwise – yup, it’s pretty straightforward. Funny how so many have nailed 2/3.

  6. shine said

    I would replace “Get flowers” with “Don’t be a douchebag.” But that’s just me.

    Flowers die. Not being a douchebag leaves a much better impression in my mind.

    Or maybe, “Make girl laugh. Excessively.” Laughter can overcome a lot of faults.

  7. BS said

    I don’t need flowers (or really anything else at all) if the guy can dance.

  8. Wodie said

    Oh man, you are almost done stogging! What a shame! I posted this little number on my blog. Sorry I don’t have many readers, but at lease you know youre getting some love!

  9. I have to jump in here because I actually hate getting flowers. With a passion. Unless it is a spontaneous gesture in the middle of a date or a single rose when being greeted. Never delivered. Ever. I’m known to just take them and pitch them right into the garbage.
    One time the florist called to tell me they were on their way (who does that btw? totally ruined the “surprise”) and I refused to open the door.

    Am I weird? Yes. But….I’d much rather get a small trinket* that says the person knows ME. Not that they understand the norms of society & dating.

    *ie–a Cadbury egg 4 weeks after Easter cuz I had been bitching for 4 weeks that I really really wanted one and couldnt find any and he happened to see one at the store so he picked it up…..

    btw, LOVE the STOG! Going to be so sad to see it go!

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